I've finally decided what I want to be when I grow up: I am going to be a courageous, truth-telling cynic who isn't afraid to say profoundly unpopular things as long as I'm being paid for them. I would just have to consistently be able to find unpleasant things to say about topics people feel strongly about. Thankfully, that's not all that challenging, because of the tireless work of trailblazers such as Limbaugh and men and women on talk radio all across the continent. Just argue that the people most people think are unfortunate and sympathetic are, in fact, extremely lucky or entitled or selfish or corrupt. There will be genuinely entitled, selfish, or corrupt listeners/readers who think you're just saying what everyone else is too afraid to say, and there will be gentle, sensitive, thoughtful people who will become very angry with you and question why you're employed. The existence of both groups will ensure your continued employment.

And don't think Canadians lack such a media personality just because we don't have some Limbaugh clone crouching full of hate in a basement next to a ham radio. We have Christie Blatchford, and she has the National Post.

It's all so tedious. Jack Layton, who most people appear to think was a really nice guy, died this week and Blatchford proceeded to write a strange, unpleasant, ranting piece about how he thought too much about politics to be a really reputable politician, how he shouldn't have taken the time close to the time of his death to write a letter to Canadians, and how the outpouring of public emotion after his death was really the result of celebrity death hysteria promoted by the media/internet and therefore cheap and insincere. 

I have already not followed the suggestion I'm about to give, but I'm going to give it nevertheless: let's ignore her. Let's not comment on the webpage, or send her angry letters, or talk about her on the radio. Let's give her the one thing she deserves and is not accustomed to: the cold shoulder. If people stop signing her pay-check with their outrage, maybe she'll just have to give up and go where journalists go to die: Sun TV.

Send the Catastrophizer your requests for advice and/or rationalizations using the form conveniently provided HERE. I will publish my responses on the THE CATASTROPHIZER page.

POLITE DISCLAIMER: This site is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you are not entertained, fair enough. Also, I'm not very good at copy-editing, so if something looks wrong, it was put there by accident.

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