July 18th, 2012 - THE CATASTROPHIZER
 
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The video has now been taken down, but the slogan remains.
I've always been interested in science, but I dropped it in grade eleven because my military-trained science-teacher-who-was-actually-a-gym-teacher was a bit of a dick. I realize now that I probably really dropped it because my womb was hysterically pulling me toward lip balms and disciplines that focused on relationships. Also, don't scientists wear smocks or something? Obviously not the place for a girl who likes dressing up, putting on sunglasses, and wearing lipstick. And what girl doesn't enjoy doing all those things while not learning about science? 

So what can be done to keep science from alienating people with wombs who like dressing up, putting on sunglasses, wearing lipstick, and reenacting birth-control pill/tampon/yoghurt commercials with their friends?

The answer is obvious, obviously. What's needed is for the EUROPEAN UNION to demonstrate that science is, in fact, really exactly like dressing up, putting on sunglasses, wearing lipstick, and hanging around with friends while not getting pregnant.
The EU has hit on a breathtakingly original idea here: it has taken things that EVERY GIRL WITHOUT EXCEPTION likes (makeup brushes, eyewear, showing some leg) and randomly spliced together shots of those things with other shots of science-y things they don't quite resemble.  

Forget feeling alienated by science, young lady? Science knows you; science welcomes you by appealing to who and what you are, which is a walking make-up bag with the smarts to appreciate that lipsticks and test tubes are kind of the same size, and therefore EQUALLY AS MUCH FUN!

Once young ladies realize that lipsticks look kind of like buildings (engineer!) and goal posts (soccer player!) and that compacts look like planets (astrophysicist!) and the bottom part of stethoscopes (doctor!), nothing will stand in their way, except, of course, for Europe, which thinks they're a bunch of frivolous half-wits.

POLITE DISCLAIMER: This site is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you are not entertained, fair enough.


10/6/2013 15:45:51

Thanks for posting this

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