The man who dispenses advice on the website A New Mode doesn't believe in capitalizing his name. I don't believe in taking advice from hippies.

I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple months now. When we first started talking, he was always the one to text me first and ask me to hangout.

Lately though, I always have to text him first, and it takes him FOREVER to reply and sometimes he doesn’t even reply at all unless I text him more than once.  I also have been having to make all the effort to hangout and sometimes when we make plans to hangout, he’ll just bag out last minute.

I know this makes it sound like he doesn’t like me, but he keeps telling me that he does.  Also, when I do text him or when he texts me (very rare), he still calls me “babe” and stuff.

Am I being needy by texting him all the time?  Should I lay off and wait for him to make more effort?

1) Absolutely do NOT lay off. Dogged persistence in the face of every possible nonverbal sign of dislike is one of the qualities men find most desirable. When you text him repeatedly, you're adding to your mystique. 

2) Also, if you lay off, there's a very good chance that he never will end up making a greater effort with you. You'll probably never receive another poetic text from him. You'll probably never hang out with him again. This is because he doesn't like you. It's quite clear he doesn't like you. It distresses me that there's any doubt in your mind that he doesn't like you. He seems enough of a coward, though, that he will never be able to tell you this directly. Which means that as long as you text him repeatedly, he will eventually, reluctantly, respond. Which means that you will have at least some semblance of a reciprocal relationship, if that's what you want. 

3) If this mutually-fulfilling relationship does come to an end, never fear. It sounds like you have enough on the go that you will appeal to men initially and enough pronounced personal flaws that you will repel them eventually. As such, you will never run out of fraught texting relationships about which to agonize. I look forward to hearing from you again in the future.

4) If you find yourself needing more affection more often, I have some advice for you. Just find a guy with a loud Hawaiian shirt, shiny polyester pants and shoes with no socks who is loudly chewing gum and talking to his broker on a slightly outdated cellular telephone, and I guarantee that if you talk to him for more than five minutes, he'll call you "babe."

Send the Catastrophizer your requests for advice and/or rationalizations using the form conveniently provided HERE. I will publish my responses on the THE CATASTROPHIZER page.

POLITE DISCLAIMER: This site is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you are not entertained, fair enough.

Appreciate it for helping out, superb information.


Leave a Reply.